A few of my friends & colleagues after reading the title of this article might think that I can’t get over Insurance after working in Benefits for long (Yes! 3 loooong years).
Well! I tried hard but be it the current HR project or the book I finished reading a few days ago, Insurance manages to be around me J.
While reading the book “The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch, I came across this term – Emotional Insurance. So far I had known Emotional Bank account coined by Stephen Covey asking us to deposit respect, kindness and courtesy to build trust in a relationship rather than withdrawal alone. Hence, my curiosity tempted me to deep dive the word “Insurance” first.
Insurance is a thing that provides protection against a possible eventuality like loss of life or property, medical emergencies etc. We get the protection by paying premiums to the many insurance agencies (who happily earn money on our money).
Now to decode Emotional Insurance (for ease I will use EI interchangeably from here on but don’t get it confused with Emotional IntelligenceJ)- Emotional Insurance is that gift to ourselves, our near and dear ones against many small or big contingencies/possibilities that we don’t even plan for in our busy lives or if we do plan, it’s either haphazard or simply parked to be brooded over later which hardly happens.
So, what are these possibilities?
Distance – Mental and physical. Physical when you are away from your dear ones for studies/ work/ medical treatment, in wars or on a mission. Mental when you are there in person and the relationship is broken, yet you don’t believe it’s over.
Other eventualities like lack of time, loss of money, relationships buried in graveyard, old age, illness – permanent or critical and Death (the inevitable)
How do we pay for the emotional insurance?
Unlike a life or general insurance, EI is not an off the shelf product. The only way to invest in EI is give your TIME, your PRESENCE, your VOICE, your TOUCH, your COMPANIONSHIP, your EXPRESSION and many valuable – memorable MOMENTS.
Being there fully alive, living each moment with your near and dear ones and sometimes strangers too that stays with us in togetherness and solitude in the later stages of our lives.
By giving your time and creating moments like attending child’s PTM or his/her first stage performance, doing daily chores at home and using that time to chitchat about day’s high or lows, sharing your colleague’s workload so that he can enjoy his vacation peacefully and shielding your team members so that they can plunge in unknown arenas for better learning, covering for your parent’s shortcomings and getting them exposed to the changing world and many more such moments, going extra mile for friends in distress even if it means getting yourself in trouble…
Journalizing your many FIRSTS – first day of school/college/work, first crush, first award, first Kiss, first day of cycling and surviving many bruises, first vehicle, first dent on the car, first kick out of a job, first heart break…
Celebrating the birthdays, anniversaries, teachers day, Valentine ’s Day, Diwali, Christmas, Id, New year…. and by expressing enough gratitude that you have one more opportunity to be part of such days.
Capturing the moments and celebrations through still pictures, videos, greeting cards, writing diaries & letters (too much to ask for from the what’s app generation, no?)
Who is the beneficiary of the emotional insurance?
Each one of us benefits from investing in EI. We, our near and dear ones and even those unknown acquaintances for whom we’d have paid the premiums accidentally enriching their lives.
EI covers us in solitude, in moments of stress or darkness, when we feel the entire world is against us and God is unkind. In these moments, snippets of past bring that innocent smile on our face. It fills us with the energy that life had been good once and raises the hope that we can make it good again.
EI lets us relish togetherness, social set ups, family functions – where you talk enthusiastically about how life was earlier, reminiscing the fun and laughter amidst many struggles that left you strong, the jokes & the giggles, the bonhomie, the dances, the stories and their interesting characters, the food, the lanes, the gossips and what not.
And why do we invest in the emotional insurance?
Well, after reading the above piece I guess you have the answer by now.
To me this investment is my expression to a fulfilled life. A life worth lived. A life which I will admire and want to live once again in togetherness, solitude or death bed.
Randy, author of “The Last Lecture” and a patient of pancreatic cancer, invested in EI by spending the last few months of his life with his beautiful wife and three young children. He captured learning and insights from his life in the book, delivered the lecture in the college where he taught for years, created multiple videos/letters for his kids to know and experience him, pulled in those people whom he trusted to take care of his family after him. He made the best use of his available time and gifted his family the needed Emotional Insurance for their life time.
Again, the choice is completely ours. To continue in the race of acquiring more and more or paying premiums for EI by taking a step back, gaining the desired stillness, being mindful of what we have today, enjoying the moment and then gather the energy to move ahead with others (all known and unknown acquaintances).
Take care!